Today I unloaded some emotional baggage. I felt better and I felt closer to whole than I have in a while. I realize that sometimes that unloading causing more of a stir than carrying it in silence, but I have to unburden myself. I am not a pack mule for everyone's burdens.
Today I realized that I belong to a society that has given me much purpose but no happiness. I am a secret keeper. In my professional life, keeping secrets is a no-no. We are trained to realize that keeping secrets only ends up in disaster. Although being open and honest causes a storm of unholy terror, it puts everything out there. Either the other person weathers the storm or gets consumed by it. By keeping secrets we convey the notions that we do not trust and the other person is incapable of making a sound decision. Maybe they are, but until we give them the opportunity to make a decision in the crest of the disaster, we will never know for sure. Secrets also keep us all bound up with so many emotional turmoils.
My goal in these next few months is to limit my secrets. I can't hold onto someone else's sorrow and shame. I have enough of my own to carry around.
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